Being diagnosed with a chronic or degenerative disease affects more than just the person who is diagnosed. It affects everyone in that person's life to some extent. But aside from the person who's been diagnosed, the diagnosis hits closest to home for the spouse or partner. Many questions arise in the early days after the diagnosis: How will this affect our lives? How can we plan for the future? Does this mean I'll be relegated to the role of a nurse? Below are some ABCs for couples dealing with a partner's recent diagnosis.

Assert Yourself
A dementia diagnosis means that. Although it is a part of your life, allowing it to overtake your life will not help you cope with it. With any chronic disease, patients are often told to stay positive. This will not always be possible, so make sure you have someone to talk to a dementia support group is necessary. Communication will help you get through this.

Life can be frustrating, and a dementia diagnosis creates a veneer of aggravation, sadness and, sometimes, anger. Keep in mind what is important and what you do have control over. How do you let go of things outside your control? Find things that bring you joy or a sense of happiness and seek them out. Some spouses of those who have been diagnosed with dementia say that patience isn't one of their virtues. While working to become more patient, you should also keep your sense of humor—as you will get lost without it.

Break Free from the Blame Game
Communicating with one another can be difficult, especially as the role of spouse changes incrementally into that of caregiver. If your spouse had a broken arm, for example, you wouldn't blame him or her for being unable to do something. Try to think of dementia that way. If you need to place the blame, place it on the situation rather than each other. Life has been a certain way up until this point. Now the roles are changing and people as a whole are generally adverse to change, especially when nothing about it seems positive. This situation's positive is that early detection aids in disease management. Also, you and your loved ones are the most positive instruments of change in your arsenal—make sure you use it.

Create Your Plan
Make time for the activities you and your spouse can still enjoy. A new diagnosis can feel like an unwelcome visitor. Find the activity where this visitor is left waiting at the threshold and not invited in. One couple at the seminar said that they now traveled extensively, as they had a sense of urgency about seeing the world and enjoying their life together—and while the wife with dementia no longer made plans or preparations for the trip, she still enjoyed seeing new things and tasting different foods. Making time for one another in settings where the disease will be less likely to infiltrate is important. Something as small as "let's go for a walk" can lead you into a space in which you and your spouse can just enjoy the outdoors—and one another. It can also become a way to deal with the frustration by leaving it behind for a few moments and coming back to it with a new perspective. Also while enjoying life, make certain to plan for your future: anticipate medical and financial concerns beforehand. Set up meetings now with an attorney, financial planner and/or family members so that both of your wishes are known and in writing.